The Military, Nationalism, Pacifism, Equality and The American Way

“Everything can be explained in context” is one of the common axioms of Attachment Theory; A new scientific/philosophical/psychological/theological/anthropological explanation of how we are innately tied together in a form of universal collectivity (or what I simply refer to as the “universal”).  We depend upon each other down to what many call the soul or spirit level more than we ever knew, and it is being proven in the various fields mentioned above. 

I point this out, because it can be so easy to discredit others if they don't conform to our ideals, and thus discard any attempt at empathy, and by doing so, to de-humanize.  This can be seen just as much with tyrants as with pacifists.  In the sometimes insular world of academia, I have seen it as well, even with people who claim to be all-inclusive.  One need look no further than a pacifist’s view of those in the military, and the common assumptions that are derived from the outside view.
 

Master Sergeant Stan Goff, U.S. Army, Retired

I credit Eastern Mennonite University, a school widely known to hold a pacifistic stance, with attempting to bring military viewpoints to campus over this past year.  I remember one coffeehouse panel in particular that opened my eyes to my own strong biases, and how much I tended to lump the entire military together; almost as if it had one collective opinion; a de-humanization that seemed to assume the most unrealistic possible definition of “collective consciousness”.  In many ways, I had failed in looking at the military as comprised of individual humans.  Those individual humans represented on this particular panel described their individual lives and brought an entirely new perspective to their own humanity, which I have often subconsciously and consciously stereotyped as perpetrators of injustice.

Stan Goff, a retired U.S. Army Master Sergeant, has further opened my eyes to the reality of the individual in the military.  An individual that is often tired, that can see no further than the foreign climate or daily task (often mundane) in front of him/her; that is faced with a thousand tedious mind-numbing daily orders and that is simply looking to go home most of the time; home to the familiar.  His description of the U.S. invasion of Haiti in 1994 was spectacular in detail, and proved to be a significant element in his own intellectual evolution, which, in his case, meant that the Haiti mission was to be his last. 

Goff described the military as a “system”; very much a microcosm of the macro society in which we all live.  The petty political games, the individual moves for power, the struggle to be one-up over the next person, and the frustration with mindless actions and decisions by others in an imperfect world are humorously described at times:

“Master Sergeant Goff, the Sergeant Major says you need to move your tent over one space”.  “Just who in the fuck engineered this goat fuck anyhow?  Maybe the fuckin’ sergeant major would like to set the motherfuckin’ tent up his motherfuckin’ self.  Maybe we’ll just sleep under the motherfuckin’ stars.  It don’t look like fuckin’ rain, now, does it?  What the fuck has been going on here for the last two days?  Sunbathin’?  Shell collectin’?  Sippin’ cocktails on the fuckin’ veranda and watching the fuckin’ sky change?”

When we are faced with reality, as illustrated so eloquently above, most of simply want to get through the fuckin’ day.  We find ourselves enmeshed in a system not of our own making.  Get up, go to work, pay for things:  food, clothes, water, a place to live and the right to legally stay there, taxes so we don’t go to jail, and even to pay for the fact that we were born, breath and occupy space.  Yes, it’s absurd, but we’re caught up in it, and if anyone gets in our way, or doesn’t see things like we do, we very quickly forget that they also have their own absurdities in their own lives that they’re trying to deal with, and we fail to take those into account through our limited vision. 

Now, none of this is to excuse the inexcusable.  Goff, though it took many years, and the courage to go against his deeply ingrained military training, eventually began to ask the tough questions, and to bring himself to an awareness; the kind of awareness that truly can connect with the universal.  When he wrote his book Hideous Dream (in 2000), about the 1994 U.S. invasion of Haiti, Goff’s evolution wasn’t yet advanced to the pacifist stage (where he now is), but he was heading closer in that direction, making a stop at Socialism, in somewhat of a parallel to how my own worldview has developed; although I never was a member of the military. 

Goff finally began to put all the pieces together from his years of service beginning in Vietnam, and realized that what he had been seeing in U.S. military action, despite all the pretenses passed down through the chain of command, were naked power grabs for money and resources.  None of this is a surprise to many, but for a man who came out of the very system he was beginning to recognize, it was a major step, and made me question:  Why is it that some have the ability to step back and realize what is going on, while others either refuse to see or are incapable?  I believe the answer has nothing to do with intelligence, as there are many people much smarter than any of us who continue to be caught up in the absurd.  I think Attachment Theory is right in that it can only be explained through context. Societal context is a construction of countless tiny actions, decisions, conceptions, perceptions, conditioning, etc... Depending on how these happen to be ordered in any individual's life, and the timing with which they encounter them, combined with the uniqueness of their own humanity, can make all the difference in the questions which are brought to the surface.

Goff claims as much in that the system’s very construction is the answer.  We live in a world (at least in the developed world), where everyone is looking out for their own individuality, and of those around them; resembling the new appreciation I have for buddies who only look out for each other on the battlefield, with not much concern for the bigger picture.  Again, we can see Attachment Theory at play.  The question is, how do we use Attachment Theory for good in this world rather than, as some do, exploitation of others?

The upper echelons of power, as well as the “average citizen”, look to their own interests, but, and this is the key point, those interests are all tied to each other.  So, even in the context of power, we see that we cannot survive without the other.  Wouldn’t then, it make more sense to work with the other, in a spirit of community, rather than competition; in a recognition that we are all the same?  This is the conclusion I believe that Goff came to, and why he ultimately became disillusioned with the American way; a way that on this Fourth of July is well-articulated in many of our country’s documents, but, in practice, has missed the point of what equality means.  No, we should not look at equality as having an equal chance to succeed just as much as the next person, but that each human life is valuable in and of itself.  With that adjusted outlook, only then can we start to break down this Western system of individualistic absurdity and greed that we all live under, and only then can we change those individual daily relationships that, as a whole, construct both the society and culture that we live in.  For what is success by the American definition?  We can choose to take our “equal” opportunity at success to succeed materially and ultimately exploit others as would need to be done in modern American society, or we can look at success as bringing us closer together and form a more cohesive advancement towards the universal.  A mindset change, a paradigm change is required of all involved if the system is going to change; a system that manifests itself through the minutiae of countless everyday actions and decisions based, ultimately, on particular societal protocols.

I am inspired by people like Goff, who after a 20 year military career was still willing to question, and continue to question, ultimately becoming a pacifist at what is now a late stage in his life.  As he said, what does loving your country mean?  His answer was solidarity expressed to those left out of the system in an effort to be inclusive, but ultimately changing the injustices by changing the system itself.  My answer is similar in that loving your country is no different than loving those in it, and for that reason, I believe we should discard the nationalistic question, because nationalism is no longer relevant when love is brought in.  Love fully expressed IS revolutionary, and is not easy.  Love is also more inclusive than we can ever imagine and is not limited by anything human, such as the arbitrary borders (of all kinds) that separate people.  For after all, how does one put limits on love, which is the true "higher power", no matter what the context?

Note:  All quotations were taken from Stan Goff's book Hideous Dream: A Soldier's Memoir of the US Invasion of Haiti published by Soft Skull Press, Inc. in 2000

The Year That Almost Wasn't: Looking Into the Face of Death

Everything was surreal...hazy in fact. My vision was coming into focus. Panic. Something’s not right. TRANQUILITY...PEACE...now FEAR. Why am I feeling all these emotions? I hear my name. I turn my head. I realize I’m upside down. How does this guy know my name? Where am I? Loud noises. Another man enters from the opposite side of what appears to be a car that has my body suspended by a seat belt. I’m dazed. Disoriented. This guy is wearing a fireman’s uniform and is putting a neck brace on me. Why do I need a neck brace? What happened!? WHAT THE…WHERE IS THIS SUDDEN INTENSE PAIN COMING FROM!? I CAN’T HANDLE THIS…MY PANIC IS INCREASING!! AM I GOING TO BE OK!? SOMEONE TELL ME! I’VE BEEN IN AN ACCIDENT HAVEN’T I!? “Yes Tim, you’ve been in an accident” the first man says. “You’re going to be fine…we’ll have you out shortly”. But his tone of voice betrayed his awareness of my dire situation. Strangely though, at that moment, the peaceful feeling returned.

Such was my initial awakening to a new phase in life at around 8:45 am on Tuesday, July 21st, 2009. I had been reborn, but I didn’t know it then. It was as if the blackout that caused the accident re-programmed my mind. The events of the previous ten years, and especially the most recent year were to take on a whole new meaning.

Adversity purifies like a fire. I don’t know how to explain it unless you’ve had a similar experience. The previous 365 days to that Tuesday had involved a painful divorce, a morbid personal financial collapse, and a disintegration of opportunities in the radio career that had occupied my life since the age of 15. Those events were enough to bring me into a deep depression. The bottom (and awakening) was being at death’s door. At that point, I had nothing else to lose. My unconscious gave my mind permission to set the depressing elements aside and to examine my interior. I’m convinced it was the beginning of a period of enlightenment that will continue for life.

My life to that point had been a constant conflict of opposites. I know now that this is part of our innate human psyche. The reconciliation or coming together of those opposites, I’m convinced, is the key to enlightenment. It allows you to embrace all of your humanity and to face your entire being. For many, this is a fearful process, and so we make this kind of self-reflection a taboo in our society. This becomes dangerous, because we suppress our dark side and only acknowledge and pursue what we perceive to be the make-up of our lives: Our belief systems, careers, family, pleasure, and daily activities. However, this dark side WILL make itself known unless you face it ahead of time. The results of this appearance of your un-acknowledged unconscious dark side will not be pleasant.

The self-discovery I’m speaking of is not easy. To search out your soul is a lonely journey, and one must be aware of that going into it. It is work, and requires a conscious effort. This is not something that just “happens” to a person. What you discover, and how it shapes your worldview, idea of God, actions, behaviors and mindset will have a direct affect on those around you. If done properly, it COULD end up costing you relationships and “friends” (and in fact has done so in my own experience). It can literally re-structure EVERYTHING in your life…if you remain true to yourself. But the rewards of filling the void…a void that religion, career or my failed marriage NEVER filled for me…are incredible and are the true meaning of happiness.

In the past, I have been on the other side of observing this process in those around me. As I look back, I realize that I created distance between us because their self-knowledge pointed out areas I wasn’t ready to face in myself. However, anyone pursuing their own discovery will have gained the independence and security of mind necessary for their journey. Instead of (for lack of a better term) a co-dependent relationship to life, they can truly love others through the great love and respect they have for the person they’ve discovered inside of themselves. This is how we establish community and peaceful co-existence.

It is especially tough for anyone that has become attached to financial obligations, career, family, religion or political views to embark on this venture. We live in fear. We crave security. So we cling tightly to what has always been there. We become dogmatic and oppressive. This is not out of the knowledge of being right, but a fear of being wrong. We surround ourselves with those who think like us. It provides a confirmation of our own beliefs, because we hear it from the mouths of others. It is terrifying to think about giving up everything we thought to be true. A complete life upheaval is too scary to contemplate. So, our minds suppress the questioning. It is an unconscious trap and a circular process that feeds on itself to create anxiety, stress and a feeling of: “Is this all there is?”

The minds of many individuals make up the collective mind of society, so the fear of questioning becomes imbedded in culture. Let’s take religion for example. Having been raised in a strict religious environment, I was always taught to NEVER question, but to accept the “truth” of The Bible. Of course, this “truth” was whatever interpretation happened to be taught by the authority figures around me, whether it was family, my pastor, or the teachers and professors at the schools and colleges I went to in my younger years.

Our political system is in many ways not open to questioning as well. We can question within certain boundaries (which are often set by the media), but most of the really BIG issues that would cause massive disruption of our daily lives (say a re-writing of The U.S. Constitution), are not open to debate. We would have to lose everything as a nation for this to even be a consideration.

I use the above examples as illustrations of the kind of interior questioning to which I’m referring. To effectively embark on this journey, I discovered that I had to discard ALL my previous beliefs and attachments. This incorporated everything from my “god-image” to politics, career, life goals, materialism, any fears of alienating or offending people, etc. Everything is open to questioning. I wiped the slate clean and started over. I had to begin with: “what if I was alone with no outside influences, people or education?” Assuming that I could still communicate with myself, I would realize that my own survival required concern for my personal well-being. In other words, it’s love and respect of self. So, love becomes my starting point. Then love becomes justice when we start to deal with others. This is the basis of my worldview. The recognition of love, just like the recognition of “good” requires an assumption of its opposite. Otherwise, love and good would simply BE, with no real significance. So, we must reconcile that we have within us the opposite concepts of hate and evil. Knowing that we all have this potential greatly reduces the pressure we put on ourselves. It also allows us to examine this dark side, to bring it into our consciousness as much as possible. Once we are able to do that, we know the interior better and we can learn to accept that this is simply a part of our make-up. This is where I believe religion gets it wrong by telling us that we are INNATELY sinful. No. What this misguided teaching does is suppress the dark element within us to the point that we step into the muck of what we were trying to avoid. What a proper balance of opposites does is produce awareness and knowledge of evil so that we can better counter it with love.

One personal conviction I would like to share is that I believe this process can NOT be done with ANY degree of substance abuse. This includes even a buzz from alcohol. I don’t know how a mind can go through intense self-observation when it is not fully aware at all times. For me personally, any craving for a form of a mind-numbing intoxicant (alcohol, tv, etc) has reduced in proportion to my degree of self-discovery. In fact, I haven’t consumed alcohol or any non-medical drugs at all throughout this past year.

It has also been important for me to write down my dreams. One of my many reading influences recently has been Carl Jung, and I strongly support his idea that the dreams reflect the messages coming from the unconscious. His idea of the primordial archetypes in the dreams has been central to my questioning of the “god-image”. I do believe in the influence of a god-image, but I hesitate to call it “God”, because that invokes familiar ideas that I do not associate with my conception of “God”. If I could name it something different, I would. In the days after my accident, I referred to “God” as “The Almighty”. However, this is also a bit too close to our religious terminology. For me, this higher power is internal. It is a part of us. It is love and understanding. It is acceptance. It is self-knowledge. It is justice. It is what binds us together and makes us one. It is inclusive, not exclusive. It is not something “out there” it is “in here”.

More changes have occurred with me internally than externally over this past year. Never before had I really learned how to embrace change. Change is a constant. That’s a phrase we often hear, but don’t truly comprehend…at least I didn’t. Society changes. Religion changes. Countries and governments evolve. Population increases. Our technology advances. This naturally involves questioning. Otherwise, how are we to understand the changes? These changes aren’t “better” or “worse”, they just ARE. They include their own version of opposites. Clinging to the past will not provide the answers. It causes bitterness, oppression and the stifling of growth, which leads to the death of the soul. Learning from our common past is important to me. Acknowledging my OWN past has been VERY important. But I don’t cling to either one. I continue to move forward. Free-thinking is crucial. I had to learn on my own how to do that. Rote learning was not and is not conducive to a fulfilling life. My wish for you is that you can have the courage to really discover who you are. It is the most rewarding journey you will ever take, and I hope you can do it without any painful adversity as a catalyst. The more comfortable we become with the art of respectful questioning, the more comfortable and secure we become around others. That’s because we realize that they just might have more to offer to us than we have to give to them.

I’m grateful for all that I’ve experienced in life. It’s been tough, but as it’s placed me where I am, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank you for reading, and may you have much peace, joy and love in your world today and always.

Tim Hartman
7/21/10